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| Or why William
Boyd's Fan Club President is sitting HIS ass at Robert Horton's table.
This is the true story of how I was uninvited to attend the Hopalong Cassidy Festival. Yessiree, buckaroos. A nice girl like me. Got her heart stomped by the big bad President of the Hopalong Cassidy Fan Club. Slammed his phone down plumb in my ear and tol' me not to come! "I say what I mean, and I mean what I say." That's a Flint McCullough line from Wagon Train. Now that's the spirit that build the West! Regrettably, the Hoppy Festival ain't in the West. It's in Cambridge, Ohio, you know, the town I'm not welcome in. If you'll just sit a spell, I'll tell you the saga of my days and nights with these pistoleros. It all begins way back in January. I was working on two projects. A Wagon Train site and a Western Festivals page. So I began talking to the woman who is in charge of the Hopalong Cassidy Festival, at least according to most printed materials and the Chamber of Commerce in Cambridge, Ohio - where they oughta know. Her name is Laura Bates. The Hopalong Cassidy Festival isn't a big enough hoedown to have it's own webpage. It's small by comparison to others. So to help them drum up a bit more business, I not only mention it on my Festival page but make them one of their own. Original text graphics and all, I'll have you know. The full spread, pardner. The only Hoppy Festival page on the Internet. Robert Horton is one of this year's attendees. Nice tie-in, you gotta admit. Laura was encouraging me to come myself. And I could have provided some continuing good PR via pictures and info on my site. According to Laura, seats at the celebrity tables for the Saturday Banquet were reserved by sponsoring a celeb and his/her partner by buying their meal. $20. At a table for eight, that's six donations to their non-profit group. Seemed right reasonable. Already someone had bought one for Mrs. William Boyd and one for guest star Dick Jones. I want you good folks to remember that detail. Laura said that if I wanted to sit at Horton's table for the banquet, all I had to do was sponsor him because so far, nobody else had. Or Mrs. Horton either. Hey, kinda tacky to buy just the one so I could splurge and buy both .Yehaw! I'm going to the Hoppy Festival! I offered to send the money straightaway, but she said not to worry about it until March. So around comes March and I finally get the flyer I need to send the money. CLICK HERE TO SEE FLYER (Do note the Sponsor a Celeb part) It says to send the money to John Greer who is the President of the Hopalong Cassidy Fan Club. (All 600 members so try not to get too impressed yet.) It also encourages people to sponsor a celebrity and sit at that table. Greer and his wife Sheryl are in charge of the Saturday banquet. So I call Greer. Whoa. Cold winds a blowin' over that prairie. He sets off on a tear about how Laura had no right to do that. This dinner is his wife's function. HER THING. (You're gonna get real awed here by the esprit de corps.) He tells me there's a big demand etc. But finally relents to say that yes, he is holding two seats at the eight seat Horton table for Laura Bates. Well, I say, nice as you please, those are for me. Greer says if Laura will verify that - the seats are mine. But something doesn't feel right. Sometimes with folks what they don't say leaves you more curious than what they come out with. And this fella was mighty hostile for a total stranger. But I call Laura and she says not to worry she'll fax him with confirmation. Next day I get the biggest mea culpa email from Laura. Sad post really. Says it's all her fault. Shouldn't have spoken out of turn. Not her function. But no seats at the Horton table. Whoa, back up here. Last night there were two. Today there are none. And now that I think about it, since I asked in JANUARY, whose behinds are in the other four seats? You should know that Laura Bates is a woman in her late 60s and really very nice. A decent woman. But no match for this Greer. So that night I called Greer who had, after all, said that if Laura confirmed ... What follows is that conversation. Greer's tone was loud and intimidating. My friend said after the call that she could hear Greer's' voice thru the phone. A real serious hombre, this one. My thoughts are in parenthesis. Greer: Didn't Laura write you today and apologize? (Okay, fella. Now I know who you are. Any man who sends a 67 year old woman...) Candace: Yes, but last night you said that if she confirmed this, then the seats were mine. I'd like to know what changed overnight. (The spirit that build the West requires a man be as good as his word, like Flint McCullough said.) Greer:That's before I knew you weren't a member. This night is a member thing, we are collecting dues and....you should never have received that flyer before the members and members should have first crack (Hmm. I'm a Floridian. We're the people who brought you the "dimpled chad" so if there is one thing we have experience with - it's counting. As of LAST NIGHT, there were only two seats left at the Horton table. As far back as January, one Jones and one Boyd seat were taken. Not even using Florida math makes this add up.) Candace: What happened to the vacant two seats you spoke of last night? (I had to ask.) Greer: Those two seats are on hold. Candace: On hold for what? What does that mean? (Logical next question) Greer: I'm a businessman (Groan) (And then some bragging ensues. Trust me, he's the money manager of the century. Followed by a big thing about how the whole "purpose is to preserve the memory of the great William Boyd." Remember that, it's gonna come back to bite him. ) Greer: My wife and I spent $2000 of our own money to fly to the Laughlin Festival last Fall and look over Robert Horton and see if we wanted to invite him. Which we did. (Yikes. A man powerful enough to "look over" Robert Horton.) Candace: You know, all this ever was about was Laura trying to get some publicity for her Festival. My site does about 100,000 people a month looking at over 600,000 pages. She came to the right place. And I think the availability of the seats were a Quid Pro Quo. A thank you. (As in, at least one of us delivers on our promises!) Candace: Of course, I can understand that you and your wife would want to sit at Horton's table too. Silence. (BINGO. GOT THE SOB. I KNEW IT! Want to know whose behinds are in two of the "members first" seats? John and Sheryl Greer's.) (Now you can call me silly, but if "the whole purpose is to preserve the memory of the great William Boyd, why aren't Mr. And Mrs. Fan Club President sitting with Mrs. William Boyd? You gotta love it. And I have it on good authority that another two of the seats are going to the Hoppy copyright holder. So spare me the "fair to the members" poop.) Greer: Well, I haven't said definitely no. There's still a chance. (Yeah, I trust ya, Bubba) And you can sit with Horton on Friday night. Candace: I thought that was open seating at an event held by the Downtown Business Association.(Read, not you people.) Greer: Well, yes, but you can steer people. (Rollin', rollin' rollin', keep them doggies...) Candace: Well, I'm certainly going to try to be fair to your point of view. Greer: (screaming) What did my wife or I ever do to you? (Uh, duh, let's review...) Candace: Well, see I'm a businesswoman and I never saw an operation run like yours. Greer: Well, fine. DON'T COME. SLAM. He hangs up on me. Smile when you slam that, pardner. Now we all know there were a hundred ways he could have handled things diplomatically. But he was caught. Clearly he didn't want to me to know that part of the "big demand" for seats at Horton's table came from the President of the Hopalong Cassidy Association, and his wife. The table for eight which the flyer promotes as Sponsor a Celeb is actually a bit fixed. Some of those seats, the best ones, were not available. And there are only four celebrities total so it's not like there are plenty to go around. They have a couple of choices. Nobody would object if the Festival organizers sat with the stars. But be honest and say, we have a few seats left that haven't been grabbed off by muckety mucks well in advance of your ever seeing the now famous flyer. And is it a public or a private Festival? They encourage the public to attend. Certainly the people of Cambridge do. You cannot run a Festival like a private party and still expect to attract visitor dollars. Greer got his knickers all in an uproar because I wasn't a member. For 20 lousy dollars, I would have joined if anyone had ever suggested it. And while I lack perspective in this, I think I donated a solid 20 bucks worth of free publicity. As for slamming the phone down and telling me not to come, that's just rude and ignorant. Napoleon, when asked why there are so few great statesman replied, that to get power you have to display absolute pettiness and that to exercise power you have to exhibit true greatness. Rarely are those qualitites found in the same person. For a Frenchman, he'd have made a helluva cowboy. Back to Fifties Index Hopalong Cassidy and Hoppy, including all images and likenesses are registered trademarks of U.S. Television Office |